One more time: the jingle bell robbery

After hearing "Jingle Bell Rock" all day, I feel compelled to reprise my 2013 post about it.

It’s been getting steady play every December for 63 years now and has worked its way into dozens of Christmas ads, TV shows, and movies.

Given its rockabilly feel (and its Andrews-Sisters-like background singing), it swings more than rocks, but that’s ok. It’s still considered the first rock & roll Christmas song—because this is what rock sounded like in its early years. Here’s the tune.

I can hear your objections already: it’s FLUFF! Yup, but it’s fluff that’s superbly recorded, brilliantly arranged, and magnificently performed. It’s as elegantly and tightly constructed as a Swiss watch, with no superfluous parts. A miracle of minimalism. And since 1957 this two-minute-and-twelve-second classic has been the standard bearer for holiday cheer.

Unfortunately, there’s a business tale behind the song that’s not so cheery.

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A sad, sad day

John Winston Lennon would be 80 years old now. The Beatles might have reunited multiple times. He might have recorded a dozen more solo albums. He and bandmate Paul McCartney might even be touring today, as the greatest songwriting duo of all time.

All this and more, had Lennon not been slain in front of his New York City apartment forty years ago tonight (at the very moment—10:50 EST—that I publish this). For me, that ended The Beatles.

Counterfactual history is by definition a speculative exercise, so you might say I'm a dreamer. But I would argue that The Beatles were a lock to get back together. They had already considered it several times in the '70s, but according to McCartney, all four members never agreed at the same time. "One of us would always not fancy it. And that was enough, because we were the ultimate democracy.”

For business reasons alone the pressures would have continued to mount. Multi-million dollar offers had already been pouring it and would have only increased. Even if none of the four Beatles personally needed the cash over the next twenty years—which seems unlikely—eventually they would have caved to the demand to come out of retirement to raise billions for some worthy cause. (In this scenario, the end of The Beatles would have come in 2001, when George Harrison died.)

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